Only Human

I set these deadlines for myself. With no reason behind it. Just – must get done tomorrow. And if it doesn’t, then.. I’ve failed. 

This is literally how to set yourself up for failure. I mean, does it really matter if I don’t fold the laundry tomorrow? Am I a failure if I don’t return that phone call?

I had a dream the other night that eased my mind. 

This weekend this cough took over my life. I was waking up and having cough attacks several times at night. I drank honey and lemon juice and tea and sucked on cough drops all day long. With every inhale I had this tickle in my throat that lead to a gasping dry cough that lasted for what seemed like forever. 

I did not want to go outdoors in the cold air at all. Didn’t want to excersize. 

Saturday night I thought about church in the morning and wondered if I would feel up to it. I took some cold medicine to suppress my cough and went to bed. 

I had a dream that it was Sunday morning and I got in the car and drove. Far. I don’t know where I was going. But I got to this street overlooking a big busy city. The name of the street was “Human”. My cell phone rang. It was my husband calling to ask if I was ready for church. I wasn’t going to make it back in time. 

What was the point of this dream? I think to say that i am only human. I don’t have to have every minute planned out and carry out everything as planned. Sometimes it’s ok to stop “doing” and sit back and just watch, observe, baske, think, wander, just be. It’s ok to veer off from the original plan or miss a day of church or not fold the laundry. It’s ok to make mistakes. It’s all ok. Stop beating yourself up and just live sometimes – without the plans and deadlines. Get in the car and just drive sometimes – without having a destination in mind. And if you miss something in that time frame, your life will be ok. 

Life presents enough challenges. 

You’re only human.